Opening A Can Of Worms

I did it. I opened the can.

I hardly ever forward things through email. I don't like getting most of the forwards I get so why would I inflict that on others? Just trying to do my considerate part in the world.

Last week I got a forward that I believed in. I was forwarded an email about the efforts of some in California (my home state) to create a "Gay Day" in schools. AB 2567 has passed the California Assembly and the Senate and is awaiting Governor Schwarzenegger' s signature or veto. This bill will set aside May 22nd as a special day to celebrate the life of homosexual politician Harvey Milk in the public schools. Harvey Milk will be honored in the same manner as our Founding Fathers and Martin Luther King, although the only thing he is actually known for is being proud be be a homosexual!

So I forwarded the email about protesting this day. Unfortunately, I sent it on to a friend that I had heard rumors about her being gay but didn't have real proof. BUT! The fact that there were rumors should have prevented me from sending it to her specifically. But I did.

She sent an email back (hitting reply to all) expressing her offense in the message, that she supported the efforts to create this day, and that we all should be more Christ-like and accept everyone, no matter who they are. She also sent me a link to a website that explained her side of the story. There were also a set of videos of an interview she gave that explained her life and struggles.

This upset me because 1, I AM trying to be like Jesus and love everyone and 2, I really didn't WANT to offend her and still considered her a mentor of mine. She was my sign language teacher at BYU and I really looked up to her. We have remained friends for about 19 years and I didn't want to just toss that just because she has chosen a lifestyle contrary to my beliefs. Whatever her choices, I loved her.

So, as she had hit "reply to all" there was an abundance of responses. I received one more email from an offended friend and then 5 others in support of me and my decision to forward the message and take a stand. I got phone calls and emails from friends I hadn't spoken to in years! My family also supported me.

I was on the phone with my good friend, Vonda, when I got the offended emails. I was so grateful to be on the phone with a friend who could help me by talking me through the situation and prevent my "inner dialogue" from spinning out of control. I was distraught because I had offended someone...never a good thing. Thanks, Vonda for listening and walking me through the thought process.

I did respond to my friends who were offended. I apologized for offending and told Carolyn of my admiration of her. I had gone to her website to become more "informed" and spent quite a bit of time watching her entire 9-part interview (in which I was spoken of!). I came to a better understanding of her and her life now and back when I knew her so long ago. I understood better the struggles I watched her go through but not knowing why she was struggling. Still, she was my mentor and I loved her. Now, she still is a mentor and I love her.

She has replied back to me expressing her love and admiration for me as well and I'm glad to say that we are still friends. We have a difference of opinion, but we are still friends. It is possible, you know.

I am so glad this happened for several reasons. First, it opened up a dialogue where people could express their opinions. Second, both sides heard each other. Third, I am in contact with some people again that I have missed! Fourth, my testimony of Christ has been strengthened by trying to be like Him. Fifth, I was supported. People came to my defense...that's totally a self-esteem booster! Lastly, it's a great post! ;)

Thank you to ALL that sent support and love. I am so lucky to have such great people in my life, even if our main form of communication is email, Facebook, blogs or Christmas cards. I am grateful for you all.

Thanks also for reading to the end. If you want to know more about The Gay Day issue don't hesitate to ask, I'll forward that "can of worms" email to you too! Also, for more information on Proposition 102 here in Arizona please go to YesForMarriage.com.